I previously drafted two different “New Year” posts, but neither of them really captured the essence of the past year. I finally came to the conclusion that no amount of words typed in a blog post will be able to explain what the past year has meant to me. But alas, I feel the need to say something as we head into 2019.
I had a feeling that moving to Asia would change my life. However, I could have never anticipated the degree in which it has done so. The good, the bad, and the unhealthy were all present this year. Even so, I managed to come out the other end more confident about the direction my life is heading than ever before.
I’ve learned so much about this big, beautiful world and the people living in it. I’ve learned the difference between sympathy and empathy. I’ve learned the true meaning behind cliches like never judge a book by it’s cover and actions speak louder than words. I’ve grown into myself at a pace I could barely keep up with.
This year was far from perfect. Only a few days ago, I found myself crying in bed, deeply frustrated at the predicament I had found myself in. I had a high fever, the chills, and was swimming in my own sweat after being ill all weekend.
I had anticipated my New Years Eve plans, but the prospect of ringing in 2019 anywhere but my own bed was doubtful.
Basically, I was feeling real sorry for myself. I broke down, but only for a moment. I had a little chat with the man up above, and kindly asked that I get the opportunity to start off this new year with as much positivity and courage humanly possible.
The very next day, I went to the local clinic and got an injection in my ass filled with some magical Korean drug. Within a couple hours, I had regained some strength, packed an overnight bag, and hopped on the KTX train bound for Seoul.
The night progressed splendidly. I said goodbye to some very special people in my life, all the while welcoming a new year of potential adventure, travel, and love. I squeezed loved ones, toasted a sky set ablaze with fireworks, and danced the night away. I flipped a page in my South Korea chapter; and on the entire life I’ve built here.
While I still have a month left in this beautiful country, I’ll never be able to express my gratitude adequately. My time will be split between cherishing final days in Seoul, and wrapping up my life in Daegu. Final farewells must be exchanged, bags must be packed, and apartments must be cleared out. As I continue to flip through the pages of this chapter, I refuse to close the book until absolutely necessary.
South Korea snuck up on me disguised as seven heartthrobs, spicy beef soup, and hugs from nine year olds. It stole my heart by means of strangers smiles, 만두 {mandu}, alcohol in plastic bags, and heated floors. It challenged me in the form of polluted air, disrespectful taxi drivers, sweet pizza, and shitty wine.
Nearly a year later, I am unable to recognize the girl that arrived off the plane at Inchoeon Airport. That girl had judgments and preconceived notions. She had forgotten how to trust, and lost interest in the idea of finding love. She was unsure of herself and the path she was on. That girl was simply doing what she knew best: throwing herself into the unknown.
I don’t have any resolutions this year, nor do I believe in the whole ‘new year, new me’ facade. I am constantly changing, growing, and learning. Every single day is a new beginning for me. In 2019, I simply plan to do my best with each given moment. After all, we are lucky to have them in the first place.
I started the new year with a clear mind and a heart so full I could cry just thinking about it. I’ve come a long way over the past few years. Both physically from Europe, to New York, to Asia, and mentally from heartbreak, to healing, and finally thriving.
Thanks, as always, for reading this blog and joining me en route on my journey. I can’t wait to find out where the next 365 days will take us. Happy New Year.